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Good Tips

  Martha Stuart Type Tips for Everyone...

Place a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle - perfect shaped pancakes every time.

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling.

Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispy treats in the pan -- the marshmallow won't stick to your fingers.

To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.

To easily remove burnt on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove-top-skillet will be much easier to clean now.

Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces-no more stains.

 When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead-no white mess on the outside of the cake.

If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato-it absorbs the excess salt for an instant "fix me up".

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator-it will keep for weeks.

Brush beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful, glossy finish.

Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it back up.

When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corns natural sweetness.

To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh-if it rises to the surface, throw it away.

Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Don't throw out all that leftover wine: Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

If you have problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves, They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water.

To get rid of itch from mosquito bite: try applying soap on the area for instant relief.

Ants, ants, ants everywhere ... Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line. So get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march - see for yourself.

Use air-freshener to clean mirrors: It does a good job and better still, leave a lovely smell to the shine.

When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tape before resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.

NOW Look what you can do with Alka Seltzer:

Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush, and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china.

Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets.

Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.

Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).

Unclog a drain. Clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka-Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, then run the hot water.

If your VCR has a year setting on it, which most do, you will not be able to use the programmed recording feature after 12/31/99. Don't throw it away. Instead set it for the year 1972 as the days are the same as the year 2000.

 The manufacturers won't tell you. They want you to buy a new Y2K VCR.

Contributer : realoldfart@webtv.net (Andy Klien )

From: djcald@webtv.net

Help for Heart Attacks

THE BEAT CAN GO ON!

Let's say it's 4:17 p.m. and your driving home, (alone of course) after an unusually hard day on the job. Not only was the work load extraordinarily heavy, you also had a disagreement with your boss, and no matter how hard you tried he just wouldn't see your side of the situation.

You're really upset and the more you think about it the more up tight you become.

All of a sudden you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to radiate out into your arm and up into your jaw.

You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest you home, unfortunately you don't know if you'l be able to make it that far.

What can you do?

You've been trained in CPR but the guy that taught the course neglected to tell you how to perform it on yourself.

HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE

(Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, this article seemed in order.)

Without help, the person whose heart stops beating properly and who begins to feel Faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously.

A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest.

A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.

Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating.

The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm.

In this way, hear attack victims can get to a phone and, between breaths, call for Help.

Tell as many other people as possible about this, it could save their lives!

  --from Health Cares, Rochester General Hospital via Chapter 240's newsletter AND THE BEAT GOES ON...


DIETING

1. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.

2. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

3. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

4. If you fatten everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

5. Movie related foods (Milk Duds, buttered popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are not part of one's personal fuel.

6. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife when making a sandwich, ice cream on a spoon when making a sundae.

7. Cookie pieces contain no fat - the process of breaking causes fat leakage.

Exception: Cookies sold by Texas D" Lites distributors. Great "Meal Replacement" with little or no fat content, low in calories, lots of fiber, protein, and other nutritional ingredients.

8. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories, e.g. spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. Note: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

9. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat.

Examples are Ice Cream, Frozen pies and popsicle.

10. This is where you add you're own. Something like a Wild Card.

Contributor = Yours Truly


From: Bertiebird@webtv.net

Subject: good tips

Some Interesting Ideas.

Bounce and Coke.

BOUNCE....the stuff you use in your dryer.

Repels mosquitoes.= Tie a sheet of Bounce through a belt loop when outdoors during mosquito season.

Eliminates static electricity from your television screen.= Since Bounce is designed to help eliminate static cling, wipe your television screen with a used sheet of Bounce to keep dust from resettling.

Dissolves soap scum from shower doors.= Clean with a used sheet of Bounce.

Freshness the air in your home.= Place an individual sheet of Bounce in a drawer or hang one in the closet.

Prevents thread from tangling.= Run a threaded needle through a sheet of Bounce to eliminate the static cling on the thread before sewing.

Eliminates static cling from pantyhose. Rub a damp, used sheet of Bounce over the hose.

Prevents musty suitcases.= Place an individual sheet of Bounce inside empty luggage before storing.

Freshness the air in your car.= Place a sheet of Bounce under the front seat.

Cleans baked-on food from a cooking pan.= Put a sheet in the pan, fill with water, let sit overnight, and sponge clean. The anti-static agents apparently weaken the bond between the food and the pan while the fabric softening agents soften the baked-on food.

Eliminates odors in wastebaskets.= Place a sheet of Bounce at the bottom of the wastebasket.

Collects cat hair.= Rubbing the area with a sheet of Bounce will magnetically attract all the loose hairs.

Eliminates static electricity from venetian blinds.= Wipe the blinds with a sheet of Bounce to prevent dust from resettling.

Wipes up sawdust from drilling or sandpapering.= A used sheet of Bounce will collect sawdust like a tack cloth.

Eliminates odors in dirty laundry.= Place an individual sheet of Bounce at the bottom of a laundry bag or hamper.

Deodorizes shoes or sneakers.= Place a sheet of Bounce in your shoes or sneakers overnight so they'll smell great in the morning.


Subject: Coca Cola...hmmmm!

*To clean a toilet:::

Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl. Let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.

*To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers:::

Rub the bumper with a crumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.

*To clean corrosion from car battery terminals:::

Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.

*To loosen a rusted bolt:::

Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.

*To bake a moist ham:::

Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan; wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.

*To remove grease from clothes:::

Empty a can of Coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains.

It will also clean road haze from your windshield.

and... WE DRINK THIS STUFF!!


RBHUMPERT@webtv.net (richard humpert)

Subject: Do you remember . . . . .

1. Blackjack chewing gum

2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water

3. Candy cigarettes

4. Soda pop machines that dispensed bottles

5. Coffee shops with tableside jukeboxes

6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers

7. Party lines

8. Newsreels before the movie

9. P.F. Flyers or Keds

10. Butch wax

11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (Olive - 6933)

12. Peashooters

13. Howdy Doody

14. 45 RPM records

15. S&H Green Stamps or Blue Chip Stamps

16. Hi-fi's

17. Metal ice trays with levers

18. Mimeograph paper

19. Blue flashbulbs

20. Beanie and Cecil

21. Roller skate keys

22. Cork popguns

23. Drive-ins

24. Studebakers

25. Wash tub wringers

If you remembered 0-5: You're still young

If you remembered 6-10: You are getting older

If you remembered 11-15: Don't tell your age

If you remembered 16-25: You're older than dirt!


From: Sweet-PollyPB@webtv.net (Ramonia Mucker)

Subject: Joke-Facts of Life

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.

Stupidity got us into this mess - why can't it get us out?

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason. (from Will Rogers)

An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.

There is always death and taxes; however death doesn't get worse every year.

People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.

It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.

I don't mind going nowhere as long as it's an interesting path.

Anything free is worth what you pay for it.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker.

It hurts to be on the cutting edge.

If it ain't broke, fix it till it is.

In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.

I always wanted to be a procrastinator, never got around to it.

I am a nutritional overachiever.

I am having an out of money experience.

I plan on living forever. So far, so good.

I am in shape. Round is a shape.

A day without sunshine is like night.

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have inlaws.

If it weren't for me, there'd just be a pile of my clothes on the floor.

I am not a perfectionist, My parents were though.

If is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.

You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

Perhaps you know why women over fifty don't have babies; They would put them down somewhere, and forget where they left them.

It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts.

I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

Age doesn't always bring wisdom, Sometimes age comes alone.

Life not only begins at forty, it begins to show.

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.

Amazing, you just hang something in your closet for awhile, and it shrinks two sizes.

Age is important only if you're cheese or wine.

Freedom of the press means no-iron clothes.

Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.


From: realoldfart@webtv.net (Andy Klein)

Subject:    Cowboy Logic

A TEXAN'S GUIDE TO LIFE
Don't squat with your spurs on.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him...The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Never slap a man who's chewin' tabacca.

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised if they learn their lesson.

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown around by somebody else.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

There are three kinds of men.

The one that learns by reading.

The few who learn by observation.

The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.


There are only two ways to live your life; One is as if nothing is a miracle. The other; As if everything is a miracle!

A. Einstein.


BUTT PRINTS IN THE SAND

One night I had a wondrous dream,

One set of footprints there were seen,

The footprints of my precious Lord,

But mine were not along the shore.

But then some stranger prints appeared,

And I asked the Lord, "What have we here?"

Those prints are large and round and neat,

"But Lord, they are to big for feet."

"My child," He said in somber tones,

"For miles I carried you alone.

I challenged you to walk in faith,

But you refused and made me wait."

"You disobeyed, you would not grow,

The walk of faith, you would not know,

So I got tired, I got fed up,

And there I dropped you on you butt."

"Because in life, there comes a time,

When one must fight, and one must climb,

When one must rise and take a stand,

Or leave their butt prints in the sand."


I Wish for You !

We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse.

For my grandchildren, I'd know better.

I'd really like for them to know about hand-me-down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf.

I really would. My cherished grandson, I hope you learn humility by being humiliated and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your bed and mow the lawn and wash the car, and I hope nobody gives you a brand-new car when you are 16.

And I hope you have a job by then.

It will be good if at least one time you can see a baby calf born and see your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother.

And it is all right to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you'll let him.

And when you want to see a Disney movie and your kid brother wants to tag along, I hope you take him.

I hope you have to walk uphill with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

And rainy days when you have to hitch a ride, I hope your driver doesn't have to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with somebody as uncool as your mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your father teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books, and when you learn to use those new-fangled computers, you also learn how to add and subtract in your head.

I hope you get razzed by friends when you have your first crush on a girl, and when you talk back to your mother, I hope you learn what Ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on the stove, and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I hope you get sick when some stupid old person blows cigar smoke in your face.

I don't care if you try beer once, but I hope you won't like it.

And if a friend offers you a joint or any dope, I hope you are smart enough to realize he is not your friend.

I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your grandpa or go fishing with your uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and the joy of holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through a neighbor's window, and that she hugs you and kisses you at Christmas time when you give her a plaster of Paris mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you: tough times and disappointment, hard work, and happiness.

~~~~~~~~~~
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched.

They must be felt with the heart." --

Helen Keller


TO BEAT THAT TRAFFIC TICKET

This procedure works in any state, Read it and try it, you have nothing to loose but the points on your license.

If you get a speeding ticket or went through a red light or whatever the case may be, and you are going to get points on your license, then there is a method to ensure that you DO NOT get any points.

When you get your fine, send in the check to pay for it and if the fine is say $79, then make the check out for $82 or some small amount above the fine.

The system will then have to send you back a check for the difference,

but here is the trick!

---DO NOT CASH THE CHECK!!

Throw it away!

Points are not assessed to your license until all the financial transactions are complete.

If you do not cash the check, then the transactions are not complete.

However the system has gotten its money so it is happy and will not bother you any more.

Good Luck Officer Mike

p.s.  Drive safe and avoid the ticket in the 1st place

Thanks DMARTZ


From: realoldfart@webtv.net (Andy Klein)

THE PARADOX OF OUR TIME

by George Carlin ----

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.

We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less common sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly,laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom,watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.

We talk too much, but fail to listen, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years.

We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.

We've conquered outer space, but not inner space.

We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.

We've split the atom, but not our prejudice.

We write more, but learn less.

We plan more, but accomplish less.

We've learned to rush, but not to wait.

We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.

These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes; of more questions, and fewer answers.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.

It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, ............. or just hit 'delete'.